Dangerous Game

Dangerous Game

 

I am alive but do not feel-

My affect, as a silently beeping heart monitor

As when a person is dying.

 

At the early dawning,

I lie upon a urine stained carpet,

Playing games with fire.

 

Inside of the depths of my mind,

My body rigid, my eyes are void of tears-

I lie alone, constricted inside of a circle of irate madness.

 

I play games with fire-

My thoughts come to life within a staccato rhythm.

My voice, shouting through a telephone-

I vociferate with never abating rage.

 

I set this world on fire.

Shrill sirens are ranting and sailing through the streets-

No heed to stop signs-

My demons are dancing to the sound of accelerated dirges.

 

The sun has risen over mountains of bedlam.

The clock on the sallow, cracked wall ticks rhythmically.

As the skies darken. bleak clouds obliterate the sunlight-

A sorcerer paints the skies black with abrupt and angry strokes.

 

They have come to take me away.

I am alive, my spirit, numbed, sirens are whistling

As into a megaphone, loudening and bellowing madness.

I played with fire, igniting a world that is not my home.

 

I find myself alone, locked inside of a cold iron chamber,

Pacing forward, then backward in no direction…

The fire that burns inside of my gut is rising to sear my mind-

 

I play games with fire- I am still alive

I am alive but I do not feel….

 

Claudia Krizay